Often people misdirect anger caused by a valid yet bigger issue on to their everyday annoyances and inconveniences; they make the wrong person, place or thing pay! Ouch Become your most honest friend and get to know the inner you, you know your triggers, if there are certain things that bother you or that you can’t accept, take steps to avoid them.
The good news is, you can do this! There may be so many things in the world that you have no control over, but this is one that you have total control over. Put your feet up, enjoy a moment just for you to consider yourself, your emotions, your good health and well being. Angry outbursts rob you of the chance to enjoy the richness of life.
A simple method to learning how to avoid an angry outburst
- If you're too angry to think rationally, always remove yourself. It takes courage, but you can muster it.
- Give yourself a few or many quiet minutes alone to cool down. Think or do something to get it out of you. Walk fast for five minutes works for me, maybe for you too.
- When you feel your body relax, take a few deep breaths and imagine what you want to say and how you want to say it. Act it out in front of a mirror if you feel you can. (You may find it useful to see your face in the mirror as you present your words to the world and it may surprise you)
- Return to the original situation and try this different approach. If your new approach doesn't help you stay in control of your anger, repeat steps above
Other strategies to control anger
Find something that relaxes you: Whether it be music, skateboarding, drawing etc, find something and do it regularly, thereby making it your anger control practice. It may then become your peaceful being practice, switching over to even greater positive benefits for your mental health.
Mind training: Play out an appropriate reaction in your head when you're feeling calm to train your mind to react that way when problems arise in real life. The funny thing is, your mind responds well to practice so when you really are angry one day, you will stay calm and in control of your actions without thinking.
Do you plan your time wisely? One of the most common anger stress points is poor time management, because when you are in a rush and something slows you down, you are very likely to react in anger. The simplest way to avoid this is to exercise effective time management. Get up earlier, leave earlier.
Are you exercising or having fun times regularly? It’s true that exercise and having fun are excellent way to de-stress body and mind, people who exercise regularly are less likely to overreact to annoyances and inconveniences. Laughing is good medicine.
Use the people around you: Talk it out with a friend or counsellor because reacting in anger often causes the reasoning centre of the brain to shut off for a time - you want to be in control of your reactions, don’t you?
Of course you do, and the way to turn it back on is to talk it through rather than act out when anger takes hold. Have you ever been so angry and found later you really didn't feel right about it all because you said things you didn't mean?
It may sound crazy but taking a few minutes to gather your thoughts and speaking them aloud to yourself in private may do wonders to diffuse your anger and you will stay reasonable and only speak your truth.
You may not be able to stop angry feelings in an instant but you can choose to stop behaving in anger. Now that is having true power within!