In the end can you ever really help anyone? Momentarily perhaps! But, if you help, what carry on effects are you creating for yourself and others to experience in the future?
What about any carry on effects for those you helped?
The ripple effect goes on and on, and eventually you will know about it, as it comes back around. 50 50, could be a good or bad thing.
Of course helping someone who has fallen is the right thing to do. That is not the kind of helping I am referring to.
Is it right to help:-
- Someone avoid emotional loss and/or pain by not admitting they were wrong?
- Someone to avoid confronting their mistakes?
- To shoulder another person’s burdens allowing them to hide behind you?
- Someone to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions?
No, I don't think it is.
Situations like these are hard to avoid when you are looking into a friend's sad eyes, or you know of the pain coming and want to help them avoid it at all costs.
Heart wins over reason often when you are 'here' (you may feel like you have no choice).
You may help for all the right reasons, but it may turn out to be the wrong reason and be a poorer outcome for all.
It is right to allow others to face fears with you standing beside them, offering them a safe place to talk about things, but it’s probably not a good idea to take on any more.
Allowing loved ones to fall, fail or suffer in some way is a greater part of our life drama, life's lessons – shared lessons - karma.
Easier to deal with at the time of the event, not so hard if it comes full circle to bite you on the proverbial!
You may in effect, be teaching someone to attribute blame to others, or to escape the punishment they need in order to grow, to ensure they toughen up to cope with future life dramas. You may be setting yourself up to take a fall.
I am sure you’d rather be a part of the now, by helping a loved one suffer consequences than to be possibly upset watching the drama repeat until they get it? (Like being bitten later in life, so that you get it!).
Allow life to flow, the pain and the joy.
When in pain, live it and do not seek escape into the joy.
When in joy, enjoy and keep your head up, don't search for the ending.
You cannot shoulder the burdens of another, you cannot shield loved ones from the pain they are meant to endure, nor should you seek to avoid your own :) That is avoiding life and living a life of denial.
It is after all their lot to live through and learn from, and you can merely walk alongside them.
Such are the joys of love and life, and I have enough drama to last to eternity and back. I accept today, that I cannot help another person to avoid their experiences, the consequences or their dramas.....
Out loud and proud, I can only help myself - And so be it! I get it now, note to self, I Am moving on
lots of love