The path is so obvious sometimes, you hear “go here, go there, turn left, turn right”. Then, silence, and I think what the? Of course the message to know on this part of the path, is the silence, for we cannot always be given guidance. We may instead be given time to make our own way.
As we stumble, perhaps even fall, we learn to cope and to remember the way forward. In those times we surrender to the lessons that can only be learned on our own and we gain a sense of inner esteem, a sense of gratitude that I am loved and watched over even though I feel alone.
When I was in Florence, I was not ‘alone’, I knew I was safe, but in the silence and in the fast pace of the city, I was frightened, and it’s ok to admit that. That is honesty, we can all be frightened by the enormity of our experiences, especially when they come unexpectedly, and twice in one day! I was hopelessly lost and had to pull myself together and find my way, (plus the other assorted troubling experiences thrown in for good measure - will make good stories to tell the family when I return home) :)
Its so funny a few days later, to realise the attachment one has to the inner voice; you have to understand that your intuition, your inner knowing will be tested now and again so that you can grow and become more reliant on the inner knowing. It was the attachment to the inner voice that lead me to feel distress and lost, the path was always there.
No matter where I Am, I Am with the Light – not matter what happens I Am always in the Light. I love that! I also love that I have navigated my way around Assisi (with friends in tow), Rome, Florence, Pisa and now Venice. I feel very happy and proud of myself to have undertaken such a journey of healing, growth and contemplation; I am so far out of my comfort zone and loving it.
Venice has taken my mind to so many places, mostly happy, some a little sad I have to say – it is full of beautiful romance – lovely to view, but I will always miss my beloved.
But that is a part of this journey too, to experience the sadness and to live my life in grace, for even in my saddest moments I still feel joy; this is not always easy to explain to others and I've given up trying - who cares anyway! :)
Venice reminds me of life, there are so many water roads, round and round they go, the pathways have dead ends but the waterways flow endlessly. Maybe we need to jump off the path sometimes, and let the waterways take us away with the tides.
I think for me Assisi and Rome was the holiday path, it was oh so easy to follow, and Florence was jumping (pushed) off the path into the river of the unknown. It was exciting and strange even though not welcome, but I did it and feel a great sense of achievement for having been given the opportunity (to fall over and get myself back up again).
I would like to encourage those out there who may not feel able to ‘let go of the oars and see where life takes you’ just yet, to just be happy with where you are right now. You should feel no shame in that.
But if life has thrown you in the deep end, look around you for a stick to grab hold of until you can reach the bank. And know that the stick was placed there just for you, and even though you cannot hear the loving voices of hope, you are being loving watched over, and you are safe, just the same.
Sometimes we get helped along the way, sometimes The Way must be discovered: how it happens is not important, but the way you conduct yourself within it all, IS. Now, London is calling, please be kind, (note to self, watch out for those expectations).
xxx WendyJoy xxx